New Year's eve shouldn't be boring — that's why I'm spending Tuesday night with Ranger
. There are dozens of traditional NYE cliches, like watching "the ball" drop, finding someone to kiss, throwing confetti at midnight and wearing pointy little hats. There's nothing wrong with any of these time-worn activities, but I think it's high-time we birthed some new traditions. Here's what I've got so far:
Go to Outer Space (with Ranger)
We've come a long way since the moon walks of the 60s, so much so that space tourism is actually starting to looking like a real thing. Now, I admit, the price tag on this new NYE tradition is a bit shocking (at least $100,000 for a suborbital flight, and upwards of $35 million for the real orbital deal.) I certainly don't have that sort of cash, but if you do, well ... go for it. I mean, BEER IN SPACE for heaven's sake. Can you imagine what drinking beer at an elevation of 100 miles would feel like? Probably really, really awesome.
Spelunking (with Ranger)
I'm broke. Are you broke? Great. Looks like we're both spending New Year's Eve in a dark, smelly, soggy hole in the ground.
Seriously though, there's no cheaper way to experience the isolated terror of the last frontier than by going in the opposite direction. Caves are scary — they could collapse at any moment, you could get lost, there's nowhere to go to the bathroom, every jagged surface is host to millions of Triassic-period bacteria and there's no telling how far down the rabbit hole goes. Thankfully we'll have beer (you know, for when the batteries in our flashlights die and all hope is truly lost.)
Dress up as a Storm Trooper and break dance (with Ranger)
Okay so space isn't your thing, and spending New Year's Eve in a sulfur hole sounds dreadful. No worries, the last of the New New Year's Eve traditions is perfect for you (so long as you've got a Storm Trooper cosplay outfit and some tight moves for the cardboard floor.) I haven't quite figured out how Storm Troopers drink Ranger through their helmets. I'll leave that part up to you.
Sitting at home, alone (with Ranger)
This sounds like absolutely zero fun. I don't recommend it.
Have a safe and superb New Year's everybody. Cheers — Nic The Intern