You're right in thinking that no one can predict the outcome of the Final Four (not even New Belgium). I'm not going to convince you otherwise. After all, basketball is basketball, and the only thing I'm an expert in is beer (thankfully). I do think, however, that I can bring a smile to everyone whose college bracket has gone bust throughout the tournament.
I'm talking about the New Belgium Final Four beer bracket. It's unbeatable, guaranteed delicious and everyone — from the competitors to the fans — goes home a winner. So kick that NCAA misery down the road and swallow what I'm serving up; say hello to the New Belgium bracket.
#1 Seed: Fat Tire
It's the original. It's established. It's biscuity, and you know it means business. The oldest of our four competitors, this 22-year-old knows the game better than any. Forget cheap tricks and flashy sprints, Fat Tire's in it for the long haul and has a lot of fans to show for it. In a heads-up match it's hard to bet against, but there's no guarantee in this tournament.
#2 Seed: Ranger
If beers could be covered in tattoos, Ranger would be. It's the most aggressive of the four, immediately taking control of the game while being savvy enough to avoid fouling-out late in the fourth quarter. Picturesque slam dunks are hidden up its (tattooed) sleeves, but it's just as happy to drop 2-pointers from the paint in order to get the W.
#3 Seed: Snapshot Wheat
Snapshot Wheat is the new kid on the block. Everyone's wondering whether it'll go straight into the draft after the tournament's end, but for now it's proving why it's one of the highest-rated prospects in recent memory. Combining old-school fundamentals with modern methods it's turning into one of the most-difficult-to-defend-against beers in recent memory.
#4 Seed: 1554
This competitor is hard to nail down. 1554's play-style is clean and light on its feet, but its physical build makes it a great substitute at center. It hasn't released as many rap albums as Shaquille O'Neal, nor is it an honorary police officer, but its on-court accolades track with The Big Shaqtus's quite favorably.
So there it is, the New Belgium Final Four bracket. Get your bets in now, but remember, you'll walk away happy no matter what.
Cheers— Nic The Intern