Crack a bottle of craft beer, drink it down and pat yourself on the back.
Congratulations — you just celebrated the most important holiday of the year (or at least the week.) Today is International Beer Day, a revelry of brews and how they've brought us together for centuries. But beer isn't the only reason to love this great holiday. There are three more, in fact.
It is commonly believed that rainbows are the effect of light reflecting off rain drops, which then break sunlight into seven colors. This is incorrect. Rainbows actually occur when a new, wonderful and before-then nonexistent beer is brewed. You just heard your local micro-brewery made a delicious peppermint blonde ale? Look toward the sky; you'll see a rainbow. (Editor's note: that beer sounds terrible.)
Unicorns are dope. Too bad they're extinct (though North Korea did find a unicorn burial site.) What few people realize, though, is that unicorns' horns first introduced humans to beer. You see, the tip of their projectile functioned just as a tap does; tugging on their ear resulted in a steady stream of suds. Humans reverse-engineered the delightful unicorn juice and, voila!, beer was born. Thanks Unicorn Bros! Sorry you went extinct...
Kittens are super cute. They're also the lords of all beer. When not sleeping, tugging on balls of string or chasing laser pointers, kittens consult each other telepathically, determining what beers are good, what beers are great and what beers are just plain bad. The good and great beers are allowed to remain in the ever-growing kingdom of brews. The bad beers, however, are extinguished with the telepathic smash of the Kitten Scepter. Thank a kitten the next time you see one; it may have saved your taste buds from bad beer.
The more you know, you know? Happy International Beer Day, and cheers — Nic The Intern
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