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  • YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Well, that went smoothly.  Portland I like your style, it's fast, friendly, and full of the tight pants.  You like your beers cold and your parties in a park.

    Right now (after loading the trucks) I am totally worked over so I just going to hit on the big points then try not to fall asleep in my soup.  We raised over 10,000 bucks for BTA and NWTA (formally PUMP) and with the work they put in, they certainly deserve it.  And with all that beer sales and hanging out we carried a 94% waste diversion rate.  Pat yourselves on the back Portland, that was totally kick-ass.

    I'm out

    _JUICEBOX.

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  • Portland, are you ready?

    Before I get started with the meat of this post I would like to send out a heart felt thank you to the Sprockettes for the lovely gathering over at their house.  We had food, dessert, beer, fun.... Thank you, that was awesome.   

    Alright lets get to it.  This here is the schedule for Saturday's upcoming Tour de Fat: 

    Tour de Fat Portland Schedule 2009!
    10am - Parade Registration - arrive early!
    11am - Parade leaves from Waterfront Park. The parade route is about 6 miles and should take one hour to complete.
    12pm - Festivities begin at Waterfront Park!
    5pm - Festivities conclude

    Acts scheduled to perform...
    * Sean Hayes
    * The Pimps of Joytime
    * Handsome Little Devils present: Squirm Burpee Circus
    * Nanda
    * Portlandâs Original Mini-Bike Dance Troupe: The Sprockettes
    * Loyd Family Players Salsa Drum Corps

    AS ALWAYS.....ACTS AND TIMES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

    For even more info go here......   Got it? Good.  Let us all gear up for the good time, dust off your costumes and come down to water front park in the mood for party times, and be forewarned... the parade is going to be more fun than bar-b-que at the Reagan's house.

    And then there is tonight.  Team Wonderbike Bicycle Ride of Destiny.  The fountain by the Hawthorne Bridge at 6pm, we're riding up to the Clinton neighborhood to see if we can't get in on this action.

    Meet us at the fountain at 6pm tonight for the good times.

    And I leave you with this:

    unicorn combover

    I paid 1,500 dollars for that (worth every penny).

    BYEBYE

    _JUICEBOX

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  • Trade my car for a bike: Portland

    To Be Car Free
    an essay by Noah

    Trade my car for a bike in PortlandMeet Stacy, she is a fun loving Chevrolet Malibu with an engine humming to the tune of 230,000 miles of adventure and with the repair bills to prove it.

    Stacy clearly loves bicycles, but then again she has a dark side. In Las Vegas she felt threatened by the new found love of "Nervous Nellie" the Blue Nishiki that rode on her roof for 5500 miles around the country. So she did what any overprotective lover would do in the situation; attempted a homicide on my beloved bike. Nervous Nellie met a concrete parking garage and had to be put down once arriving in Portland. Mine and Stacy's relationship has never been the same, rocky to say the least.

    So now that the back story is out of the way, why do I want to get rid of my air conditioned, automatic transmissioned, fast driving, road tripping, people hauling, surf board trucking, mobile storage unit?

    I will tell you just why:

    She pollutes
    She throws tantrums
    She overheats
    She doesn't start when I need her to
    She has two too many wheels to be considered a really fun time.

    Why do I want to commute on a slower than the average commuter in an automobile, scooter, motorcycle, or moped (ok well maybe not moped, who invented those things? Its like an unhappy bicycle hauling around an engine that irritates more than it performs.)

    Why do I want to brave the elements super early in the morning when me and the rest of the world does not really want to be awake nonetheless going to work?

    Why do I want to explain to girls that I cannot pick them up a date, unless they want to ride on my handlebars or in a trailer? (With a helmet on of course, which doesn't really help your case of swooning a girl who has spent time fixing her hair; hopefully.)

    Why do I want to complicate the spontaneous road trip to all things amazing in the great Pacific Northwest?

    Why do I want to "inconvenience" myself for getting to just about any event with a time constraint?

    I will tell you why, and even though you cannot see me I will do it with a smile.

    I love bicycles, seriously love. They make sense, they react to you, not the other way around. They are the single greatest invention of human powered transport. To quote H.G. Wells "When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race." Kayaks are amazing, Snowboards are amazing, hang gliders are amazing, squirrel suits well the verdict is still out on them. They are all great but they all require something other than a human to get around, a river, a mountain, a plane, a huge cliff, something. Bicycles don't need anything except a human with enough skill, talent, or sheer dedication to get where you need to go.

    I am 25 years old and a computer software quality assurance analyst (I know right, sounds exciting huh.) I wake up in the morning begrudgingly and truck it into work, at noon we all get in our cars and drive to eat something that's probably not god for us or maybe it is, get back in the cars and come back to work. It's Amurikah it's what we are supposed to do, ask anyone in Detroit.

    It's not fulfilling however, it leaves an empty feeling in me. You have no control, you press the gas and the car goes (hopefully) you can brake and you can open a predetermined amount of windows to let in some of the outside world. There ahs to be more in a people mover, there has to be. And there is; the bicycle. You are free, you get to smell and see and feel everything Mother Nature has to offer as you peddle around town.

    You see, I tried to bike I really did. I moved to Portland from Baltimore, a godforsaken bicycle town, and really wanted to bike around, I was not employed and had nothing better to do. I bought a brand new bike and loved it, his name was Clark (I have an affinity for naming inanimate objects) and he transformed me when I got on him, hence his name like Mr. Kent himself. However, I was living with complete strangers in a strange city and I awoke one morning to bad news. The shady male figure that my shady female roommate figure brought home from the bar at the end of a booze filled bad decision fest decided apparently to commandeer my steed out of the living room rather than pay $2 to get his behind back to where he belonged on the bus. So it left me with payments on a bike I no longer owned and a bad taste in my mouth, for bikes, bar figures, and society in general.

    This is a taste I need rinsed out, I need a good reliable bicycle that I can commute, tour, camp, doodle, toodle, and canoodle around town on. I want that good old fashioned lovefest for bicycles back in my life, and I do not want to drive anymore. It aggravates me, as it does everyone else; I look around when driving and everyone looks so unhappy and so angry, secretly they all wish they were on bikes.

    I want to get soaked in the rain on the way home from work
    I want to wear wool knickers and trudge through the snow
    I want to jingle my bell at attractive bystanders
    I want to smile and offer a hug to drivers angry at the red light
    I want to spread joy and happiness on two wheels
    I want to stop and observe a squirrel when I see it
    I want to pull as close to the curb as I can and smell someone's rosebush
    I want have the wind to make my eyes water when it's super early
    I want to power myself around, using just my legs as a form of transportation
    Most importantly I want to fall in love with bikes again

    Shew, that was longer than I expected, sorry about that. I still don't know if I conveyed my point enough. Thanks for this, even writing this essay has made me feel good, I actually almost teared up in happiness just thinking of the good times on bicycles.

    I love my city and my city loves bikes, it makes sense right? To me it does and I hope it does to you too.

    Oh and I love Fat Tire, sunshine wheat, mothership, wit, blue paddle, 1554, abbey, trippel, mighty arrow, skinny dip, 2 below, and frambozen. Honestly I really love everything about New Belgium, from the work you do with everything from bicycles to saving our beaches and rivers; great breweries are great breweries and you guys have a great brewery.

    Noah

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  • Trade my car for a bike: Portland

    For us, at the heart of car free living is a choose your own adventure: live the 7-11 life or bring our subterranean square of suburbia just a little closer to the tiny cabin in the big woods with the foosball table on the porch.

    Cars make life easy and easy inevitably translates into empty consumption. Or, for those of us less inclined towards mathematical figurings: cars = convenience = empty consumption. Getting by on a bike requires planning and intent. This is not a bad thing! Routes are mapped, time is allotted for, destinations are purposefully evaluated. Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch as my fiance's grandfather famously proclaimed before leaving the house.

    Of course drivers plan, too. But the car is a mechanism which asks nothing of its operator but cash and enclosure. The bike is a different machine, powered entirely of your own accord and at no cost but time. Certainly inclement weather can make one wish for a cozy interior but I am a strangely, tremendous fan of being caught in unexpected rain storms if I have no where else to go. Who doesn't like wheeling through giant puddles? A change of clothes are a worthy weight exchanged for living like a six year old every now and again.

    To sum, 10 reasons we want to live life sans auto in no particular order:

    1. A new city looks very different from a bicycle seat than from a car window.

    2. Legitimate reason to complain about the cold. Fiance grew up in Montana and I grew up in Saskatchewan. We've been wussified by Oregon and feel compelled to reminisce about the up hill both ways in six feet of snow wearing just a sweat shirt (bunny hug in SK) days.

    3. We will buy less. It's amazing how quickly you learn to think of objects in terms of basket compatibility.

    4. I suck at parallel parking.

    5. Bikes don't mix with fast food drive throughs.

    6. There is no heat in the car. Can you say sleigh ride in winter?

    7. There is no better way to rise to a challenge than to sign up.

    8. I like my bike helmet.

    9. It won't be easy.

    10. Our parents will breathe a collective sigh of relief knowing that the Anti-Chrysler has been put out to pasture.

    Cheers,

    Kate and Aaron

     

     

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  • Passing the torch: Another Portland bike commuter is born

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  • Who knew Portland could be so warm...

    And by warm I mean hot, super hot, like HOTT! hot.

    But the good news is that after spending 35 hours working out in the direct sun, I have a killer suntan, and I think it makes me look pretty. and finally ready for summer swim wear. Up until now I have been feeling a little pasty on the arms, and my farmers tan had yet to fully blossum. After Portland all that has been taken care of, my neck is carryng a nice tomato hue and my arms are looking like the shell of a coconut, dark brown and woody, cracking in a few spots. And my legs, whooo boy. As if you didn't know, i love the jean shorts, they pretty much are my favorite summer uniform and they are cut off just a few inches above the knee, and that is the spot where my legs turn from tooth paste to a rich mahogany. This is just the summer weather I needed.

    The show was great, people ducking from one shady spot to another to see music and side shows. Visiting me and the other carnies in the bike pit, saying hello, and asking Pete how is mustache stays so coifed and stylish (its a mystery, I think that he uses cement, but that is unconfirmed).

    Anywho... thank you Portland, it was a real good time and all of us here around New Belgium HQ are indebted to you.
    -Loving You,
    Juice Box.

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  • Pics of Portland

    Post 'em here! We had a most fabulous timeâhope you did, too.

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  • I wanna trade my car for a bike in PORTLAND

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  • Portland Itinerary

    Ride Registration
    10am-11am

    Ride Times
    11am-12pm

    Revival Times
    12am-5pm

    Benefitting:    Bicycle Transportation Alliance    www.bta4bikes.org
    Benefitting:    Portland United Mountain Pedalers    www.pumpclub.org

    Performances by:
    March Fourth Marching Band    www.marchfourthmarchingband.com
    Paper Bird   www.myspace.com/paperthebird
    The Sprockettes    www.thesprockettes.org

    Ride your Bike!

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